


The leader and the maid

by Anon_H



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, PWP, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3263102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_H/pseuds/Anon_H
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat and Aradia hatesmut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The leader and the maid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverWolf7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWolf7/gifts).



Aradiabots were a dime in a dozen over the course of the game. Every time something went wrong somewhere in whatever timeline, a new robot would appear and work to prevent it from happening. At first everyone was uneasy around the chronologically displaced clones of their dead friend but when she began steadily outnumbering the rest of the trolls, they learned to accept it.

Karkat never really stopped being uncomfortable around the robots. A sentiment he suspected only Vriska really shared. Every version of Aradia, every one of her metal chassis that willed herself in his timeline represented another instance in which he failed like the horrible leader he was.

Not that he was going to tell anyone that.

No, Karkat was going about his business as usual. Clearing the mobs that seemed to respawn every goddamn day in LOPAH, angrily telling Gamzee to stop being goddamn useless in his own land and trying to convince Eridan that murdering goddamn angels was possibly the biggest waste of time imaginable. Goddamnit.  
Sadly, only the first item on his to-do list seemed to yield any results because, as per usual, his sage advice was ignored by the idiots he had to endure.

It was amidst a particularly strong-worded rant towards Gamzee that a basilisk snuck up on Karkat. The young troll, completely oblivious of the high leveled underling was too busy finding new ways to say how asinine his friend was behaving.

It wasn’t until he heard a crunching metal sound that he realized he had been ambushed.

One of the Aradiabots was fighting off the dark creature. Though her body was caught between the blade-like fangs of the basilisk she could still punch him in the eye. Karkat grasped for his sickle but with a wave of her hand the robot flung him back.  
Instead, she used telekinesis to lift a large pulsating boulder to crush the creature.

When Karkat crawled back on his feet to collect the grist however, he noticed the robot was badly damaged. He didn’t have a clue how badly the damage really was, the technology of soulbots eluding him but it didn’t look good for her. The boulder she used to crush the basilisk had badly damaged herself as well.

“That was fucking stupid.” Karkat growled in a low voice, unsure whether or not she’d even hear him.”You could have taken that thing out no problem if you did that in the first place.”

It remained silent at Aradia’s end for a moment. Karkat was about to stand up and walk away when a red light returned to her remaining eye.

“Unknown parameters.” it said robotically.”Had to achieve primary directive: prevent Karkat Vantas from getting killed. Self-preservation optional.”

“SO YOU JUMP INTO THE MOUTH OF THE BASILISK YOURSELF?!” her friend shouted angrily, “ALL TO SAVE MY WORTHLESS HIDE?! YEAH, BRILIANT FUCKING PLAN THAT WAS! YOU COULD HAVE CRUSHED THAT THING LIKE A CAN OF FAYGO ON PSYCHIC POWER ALONE AND NOW YOU LET IT KILL YOU BECAUSE YOU TURNED OFF YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION!? HOOFBEAST MANURE!”

The light disappeared from the robot’s eye mid-rant and for a moment Karkat was certain the future version of his robotfriend had passed on. Surprisingly, she had one last thing to tell him.

“I really hate you.”

It didn’t immediately register but those four words continued ringing in Karkat’s head for the rest of the game.

* * *

 

It wasn’t until they arrived on the meteor that the words of the robot began to really eat away at him. Karkat had been nothing if not obsessed with the black quadrant for a while now and he was fairly certain he would KNOW if someone was waxing black for him.  
Which they definitely should, because he was romantic as fuck and knew how to treat a kismesis right but that definitely wasn’t factoring into his considerations.

Then again, trying to read a robot was about as useful as read a wall. If any troll would be able to hide an obvious black crush it would be her.

While Terezi claimed the discovery of an incredibly uninteresting alien species, Karkat decided to take a chance and confront Aradia about the odd behavior of her other self.

To sate his own curiosity if nothing else.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling apacolypseArisen [AA]\--

CG: OKAY, WE NEED TO TALK!   
AA: we d0   
CG: NO, YOU ARE NOT FLEEING LIKE A BARKBEAST WITH ITS TAIL BETWEEN ITS LEGS. WE ARE HAVING THIS FUCKING CONVERSATION!   
AA: i kn0w   
AA: i ackn0wledged we were g0ing t0 have this c0nversati0n   
AA: because we are supp0sed t0   
CG: CONDESCE’S LEFT ASSCHEEK, YOU’RE A PAIN TO TALK TO!   
CG: NOT EVERY FUCKING THING NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN ON SHITTY POST-IT NOTES BY YOUR FUTURE SELVES!   
AA: n0   
AA: just m0st things   
CG: GODDAMNIT!   
AA: can we c0ntinue   
CG: WHY EVEN FUCKING BOTHER?!   
CG: YOU ALREADY *KNOW* WHAT I AM GOING TO ASK AM I NOT?!   
AA: yes   
CG: THEN I MIGHT AS WELL BEGIN A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE FUCKING WEATHER FOR HOW MUCH GOOD IT’S GOING TO DO!!!!   
CG: GEE ARADIA, WHAT LOVELY WEATHER WE’RE HAVING TODAY. SO MUCH WEATHER IN FACT. THE ENDLESS BLACK VOID SURROUNDING US ALL REALLY TIES THIS HELLHOLE TOGETHER!!!   
AA: y0u want t0 kn0w ab0ut the 0ther aradiab0t y0u came acr0ss   
CG: ARE WE DONE DEBATING THIS FINE WEATHER ALREADY!?   
CG: I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO CONTINUE WASTING TIME BY TALKING ABOUT THE INEVITABILITY OF OUR UNFORTUNATE DEMISE OR HOW EVERYTHING IS FUCKING SCRIPTED ANYWAY!   
AA: y0u are being deliberately 0btuse   
CG: THAT WAS SO OBVIOUS THAT EVEN *PYROPE* COULD HAVE SEEN IT!   
CG: WHAT WAS THAT ARADIABOT’S DEAL!?   
CG: WHY THE FUCK DID SHE THINK JUMPING INTO THE JAWS OF THAT BASILISK WAS THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE HER PROBLEMS AND, ON AN UNRELATED NOTE, WHAT THE HELL WAS THE DEAL WITH HER CLAIMING TO HATE ME?!   
AA: are you d0ne   
CG: MY POINT IS: IS THIS SOME KIND OF BLACK SOLLICITATION?!   
CG: BECAUSE I KNOW MY BLACK SOLLICITATIONS AND THIS IS HIGHLY LIKELY TO BE A BLACK SOLLICITATION!   
AA: d0 n0t flatter y0urself   
CG: WHAT?!   
AA: hate is 0ne 0f the very few em0ti0ns i still have full access t0   
AA: al0ng with lust   
CG: OH.   
CG: SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU ARE ACTUALLY WAXING BLACK FOR ME RIGHT NOW OR WHAT!?   
CG: BECAUSE IF SO, YOU ARE DEFINITELY GOING ABOUT THIS THE WRONG FUCKING WAY!   
AA: i am n0t waxing black f0r y0u right n0w   
AA: truth be t0ld there isn’t any0ne right n0w i d0nt have s0me hatred f0r   
CG: YEAH OKAY, EVERYONE HAS BEEN AT LEAST A LITTLE BLACK FOR SERKET AT SOME POINT. AND I SUPPOSE YOU STILL HAVE THAT THING WITH ZAHHAK GOING.   
CG: BUT YOU CAN’T TELL ME YOU HATE *EVERYONE*   
AA: i d0   
CG: BULLSHIT.   
CG: EVEN NITRAM!?   
AA: especially him   
AA: was that all   
CG: I GUESS?   
CG: I AM JUST KIND OF CONFUSED BY ALL THIS. I MEAN, I HEARD THE DYING CONFESSION OF YOUR ALTERNATE SELF!    
AA: it happens   
CG: NO IT FUCKING DOESN’T!   
CG: HOW CAN YOU EVEN HATE *EVERYONE*?!   
AA: i just d0   
CG: WHAT IS THERE EVEN TO HATE ABOUT KANAYA!?   
AA: she never st0pped vriska   
AA: had she been an adequate m0irail she c0uld have prevented a l0t 0f grief   
CG: I…. ALRIGHT, FINE. THAT MIGHT BE A SORE POINT.   
CG: BUT YOU HAVE NO REASON TO HATE NITRAM!   
AA: d0nt tell me wh0 t0 hate   
AA: tavr0s has br0ke 0f c0ntact with me after the cycle 0f revenge   
AA: that is reas0n en0ugh   
AA: but that isn’t the p0int y0u want t0 make   
AA: st0p dancing ar0und the issue and ask it   
CG: WELL FINE. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HATE ME?!   
AA:    
AA: plenty 0f reas0ns   
CG: SO HIT ME!   
AA: hah   
AA: n0   
AA: this is n0t theright time   
CG: WHAT!?   
CG: YOU CAN’T START TALKING THAT GOOD STUFF ABOUT HATING PEOPLE AND THEN *NOT* EXPLAIN WHY YOU HATE THEM!!!   
AA: i can   
AA: and i just did   
CG: THAT IS SO FUCKING RUDE!!!   
AA: if its any c0nsolati0n   
AA: it isn’t ab0ut sexual hatred   
AA: there is 0nly 0ne tr0ll i hate in the black sense 0f the w0rd   
CG: OH, *NOW* YOU TELL ME!?   
CG: FORGET IT, THIS CONVERSATION WAS A WASTE OF TIME.   
CG: SEE YOU WHENEVER YOUR STUPID TIME SHTICK TELLS YOU WE SHOULD TALK AGAIN OR SOMETHING!   
AA: g00d   
CG: .................................   
AA:   
CG: ………………………………..   
AA:    
CG: THIS IS THE POINT WE STOP TALKING RIGHT?!   
AA: C0rrect   
CG: THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?   
CG: WHY HAVEN’T WE STOPPED TALKING?!   
AA: y0u tell me   
CG: HOW SHOULD I KNOW!?   
CG: I AM HAVING THIS COMPLETELY INSANE FEELING OF DE JA VU AND---   
CG: WAIT……   
CG: OH YOU INSUFFERABLE TIME-TRAVELING FUCKTRUMPET!

Karkat turned around to see the meteor change around him. Terezi and Sollux were no longer debating the discovery of the humans and were replaced by a dark castle from LOPAH. Gamzee’s pile of horns changed into a large quartz crystal and the empty desks turned into what Karkat could only assume to be Derse.

He spotted something red moving just outside his field of vision and quickly turned around, only to come face to face with a very living Aradia. She wore a bright red garb and a mischievous smirk.

“WHAT THE SHIT MEGIDO!?!” Karkat snarled, taking a step backwards. Aradia followed him by stepping forward and was getting awfully close, a playful twinkle in her eye.

“Did you enjoy the memory?” she asked with the same tone someone uses to ask about the weather.

“I’ve seen worse.” He took another step backward. She took another step forward.

She hummed cheerfully and leaned forward.”Still want to know why I hate you?”

Karkat briefly hesitated but his curiosity got the better of him.

He nodded.

Before he realized what happened she grabbed his arm and locked it behind his back. Aradia grabbed the back of his head and pushed him face-first against the wall.

“You doomed so many timelines.” she growled. Karkat could see a self-satisfied smirk in the corner of his eye.”You are completely incapable of being a leader yet continuity demanded you’d be.”

“FUCK YOU, I AM AN EXCELLENT LEA---“ He gasped. He could feel her teeth scrape over his neck.

“It would have been bad enough, was it just that…” a whisper in his ear and a hand clumsily trying to making its way to his belt. He wasn’t going to just take it without fighting. He leaned his head forward to create a bit of distance before slamming it back.  
Karkat could feel the back of his head make contact and heard Aradia grunt in pain. She released him from her grip, which allowed him to turn around and face her. More than anything, she seemed to be amused by the fact that he was fighting back.

“To make matters worse…” she continued, ignoring a small trickle of blood coming from her nose.”You turned out to be even lower on the hemospectrum than me.”

“SO WHAT!?” Karkat howled.”NO ONE EVEN FUCKING CARES ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM!” he balled his fists, knowing he’d be outmatched if it would come down to a fight but this didn’t seem to be thát kind of situation.

“You don’t get to decide that for me!” a ferocious left hook. Karkat was too slow to properly block it and expertly caught her fist with his cheek.”You suffered NONE of the classism and abuse rustbloods faced every day!”

“OH THAT’S RICH!” Karkat yelled back enraged.”AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SPEND EVERY WAKING HOUR AFRAID OF GETTING CULLED FOR YOUR MUTATION!” He grabbed her by the horns and headbutted her again. He was pretty sure it hurt him more than it hurt her but he didn’t care.  
“YOU DON’T GET CULLED FOR SHOWING YOUR FUCKING BLOOD AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT REACHING ADULTHOOD AND GETTING JUDGED FOR YOUR CANDY-RED OCULARS!”

“every single day rustbloods got killed because of their blood.” she gritted her teeth. ”adult or otherwise. you just chose to ignore it.”

Karkat gasped in pain and keeled over. Looking down he saw Aradia had firmly planted her knee in his digestive sack, which did explain the stinging pain and rising bile.

But she didn’t let him fall.

She pulled him up by his hair and kissed him. It was angry, desperate and bloody and amazing. He didn’t want to give her an inch and bit her lip. Aradia pulled his hair again and bit harder.

“I hate you.” she growled.

“YOU ARE A BITCH.” Karkat growled back. He grabbed one of her horns and yanked it, almost causing her to lose balance.

“you are a brat.”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING BLAME ME FOR BEING A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A LEADER.” He hissed quietly, hand still firmly on her horn.”AT ANY TIME YOUR FUTURE SELF COULD HAVE JUST HOPPED BACK AND SCHOOLFEED ME ON HOW *NOT* TO RUIN EVERYTHING!”

“the timeloops—“

“OH BULLSHIT!” Karkat stepped on her toes and couldn’t help but smirk as her face twisted in pain. He couldn’t care less about whether or not she had a legit explanation. He was fed up with her all-knowing behavior and now her blatant black flirting. Thankfully, she proved to be a beautiful outlet. With another pull on her horns, he dragged her into a hate-filled kiss again.

This time however, she went a step further. Before he knew what was going on, her tongue was eagerly exploring his mouth. She was warm and eager, taking him mostly off-guard. He had seen enough movies to get the gist of it but this was his first genuine black kiss.

It was better than he was ever admit to her.

And then she cheated.

She fucking cheated.

While he was completely absorbed in the kiss, biting and scratching away at her, another Aradia came out of nowhere and slid her hands under his shirt. Karkat let out an undignified yelp. His opponent chuckled amused at his predicament.  
The Aradia he confronted first was busy biting his neck, actually drawing some of the blood he tried so desperately to hide. The second Aradia lifted his shirt up to his arm-pits and began clawing away at his chest, marking him as if he were hers.

It hurt.

She made him bleed.

It was amazing.

He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of saying either of those things.

Before long she had lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it into a lake of red blood. Karkat wanted to protest but Aradia hungrily kissed him while her temporal clone made her way to his pants. He refused to take it laying down however and leaned forward to bite her neck. Despite the dullness of his teeth, he bit down enough to make her scream in pain. That would show her.

Aradia responded by punching him in the face, knocking him on his back. She avoided his nose, which he appreciated but he was fairly certain she chipped one of his teeth.

“FUCK THAT HURT!”

He didn’t have the time to react. With the help of Future-Aradia she took off his pants and straddled him. The psychotic smile she had when looking down just made him hate her even more.

“WHAT!?” he growled, very much aware of his position.”YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?”

“Your almost as scrawny as Sollux.” She said, trying to be uninterested. Karkat was thin but had wirey muscles to make up for it. With help of her future self she shed her own godtier robe, revealing her large breasts and Amazonian physique. She smirked smugly and grinded against his crotch, making sure he felt every movement.  
“Do you like what you see?”

“You’re just a moobeast.” Karkat growled before receiving another well-deserved punch.

Aradia got back on her feet while her future self took her place holding him down. She carefully lowered herself onto his face and grabbed him by the hair, as if commanding him to lick her nook. Inexperienced as he was, Karkat wasn’t going to give in like that and nipped her lips hard enough to elicit a squeek from the rustblooded troll.

Her future self responded by squeezing his bulge uncomfortable hard, making him groan against her. She sighed happily and though Karkat couldn’t see it, he just KNEW she was smirking down at him.

While he begin licking and tasting the nook of his now hatemate, her other self stopped squeezing and began stroking. He was shivering from the different sensations. It took some getting used to the experience. Fooling around with Terezi was one thing: this was the real deal. She was warm, sweet, salty and practically suffocating him with her nook, bouncing on his face like he was a cheap fair ride while her future self was devoting a lot of attention to his bulge.

Karkat thought himself an excellent kismesis and refused to be brought to orgasm before his partner. Unfortunately, she had two things he was sorely lacking: control of the situation and experience. Say what you will, her time with Equius probably......

He shook his head. He didn’t want to devote any braincells to thinking about her ex kismesis/matesprit/creepy horseman.

Though that mental detour bought him some time, when Aradia’s future self upped the stakes by using her tongue everything went blank. When she went even further by engulfing him with her mouth, Karkat could only clamp onto her legs while moaning out. He arched his back and forgot completely about licking his partner as he climaxed himself.

He kind of wished he could see Future Aradia’s reaction but Current Aradia refused to move. He kind of wanted to see the red drip from her mouth but the maid of time continued pressing her nook onto his mouth.

“Ready for round two?” she asked playfully.

Karkat eagerly breathed in the fresh air as Aradia crawled down his body. She dragged her nails over his chest, not breaking the flesh but leaving her mark. Finally reaching her goal, his waist, she began toying with his bulge until blood rushed back to the organ.

Future Aradia took her turn to sit on his face while the current incarnation slowly lowered herself onto him. Unfortunately he wasn’t satisfied with the situation and tried to protest against Aradia’s nook.

“what was that?”

“I ASKED IF YOU CAN AT LEAST FACE ME LIKE A PROPER BLACKROM!”

“this is proper blackrom.”

“I KNOW BUT JUST FUCKING FACE ME!”

“…………………”

“…………………”

“is this your first time?”

“WHAT THE FU----, THAT DOESN’T HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!” he sputtered. Aradia stood up, suddenly extremely self-aware. Karkat wanted to tear her to shreds but of course, his opponent was still cheating.

“i am sorry, i shouldn’t have assumed.” she said, picking the worst time to be considerate of her kismesis’s feelings. “karkat, are you sure you want this?”

“OH MY GOD, CONDESCE’S HORNS AND LAUGHING MESSIAHS, YOU INSURMOUNTABLE CUNT!!!” the angry troll cried.”LOOK AT MY FUCKING BULGE! DOES IT REALLY LOOK LIKE I *DON’T* FUCKING WANT THIS RIGHT NOW!? ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS FACE ME LIKE A PROPER OPPONENT FOR OUR FIRST TIME. JUST BECAUSE I NEVER EXPERIENCED WITH HOOFBEAST PHALLUS DOESN’T MAKE ME ANY LESS A KISMESIS THA—“

Aradia practically dropped herself on his bulge. Karkat gasped and moaned out to the point of embarrassment. Future Aradia got up and allowed him to look her into the eyes. It felt so much better than every romcom ever told him it was. She was rough and warm around him and the intense look she gave him challenged him to do his worst.

He leaned forward and grabbed her horn again, looking for his own balance. The two of them looked at each other and panted, while she tirelessly gyrated her hips. Karkat couldn’t help it. He kissed her. Bit her neck, bit whatever he could reach, tugged her hair and spat in her face.

He hated her.

He wanted to best her.

He attempted to push her on her back so he could top but his opponent, his black partner slammed him back to the ground, finally using those psychic abilities she held back up till now. Karkat saw it as a small victory: clearly she was more powerful than him but she wanted to fight on even ground. Making her use her psychic abilities was like making her confess that she couldn’t win without them.

In the corner of his eye he saw Future Aradia fingering herself while watching them. God she was weird.

“just so you know….” Aradia moaned softly. She wasn’t a loud lover like he had hoped but the way she panted and moaned, the way she wrapped her arms around his neck felt incredibly intimate. “if i’m going to orgasm it’s only because of the way i ride you…..”

Karkat responded with nothing but a moan of his own, a painful tug on her hair and a bright red scratch on her back. He smirked satisfied as she yelped in pain.

“D-did you bring a bucket?” she whimpered. Her muscles were tightening around him and Karkat was shivering. He bucked his hips wanting more, he pulled her hair wanting to make her scream.

He succeeded.

Aradia slammed herself down on his bulge and reached her climax louder than she had been thusfar. Loud enough to make Karkat hope no one else was hiding out in this particular bubble. The way her muscles contracted around him was enough to bring him over the edge as well but he refused to do it as loud as his partner. Instead, he bit down on her shoulder to muffle his own moaning.

The two of them panted and exchanged hateful glances in silence.

“NO.” Karkat finally grumbled. “NO, I DID NOT BRING A BUCKET.” The mixed red fluids coated their crotches and upper legs. They slowly came to the realization they were sitting in a bright red puddle.

They were a complete mess and they were actually pretty content with that.

After a few seconds of blisfull, hate-filled silence two hands grabbed Karkat by his shoulders and slammed him back on the ground. Future Aradia was hovering above him with a wicked grin.

“my turn!”

* * *

 

TA: no  
TA: no ii am not doiing thii2  
CG: COME ON CAPTOR. YOU *FINALLY* GET TO USE YOUR ALLEGED SKILLS FOR THE GREATER GOOD.  
TA: hackiing my moiiraiil’2 hu2ktop two check out her na2ty a22 hii2tory ii2 not a greater good ii need two get iinvolved iin  
TA: becau2e ii really don’t want two know what get2 her off  
CG: OKAY LOOK, I AM GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU FOR A SECOND.  
TA: plea2e dont  
CG: ON A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS YOU LISPING ASSHAT!  
CG: OUR KISMESSISTUDE SO FAR? PRETTY FUCKING GREAT. 10/10, WOULD BE EMASCULATED IN FRONT OF THE SCOURGE BITCHES AGAIN.  
TA: yeah that wa2 fun  
TA: ii diidn’t even know your pant2 were that flammable  
CG: BACK TO THE FUCKING POINT, EVERY TIME THE TWO OF US GET….. INTIMATE, SHE IS THE ONE TAKING CHARGE.  
CG: AND THOUGH SHE IS PRETTY GOOD AT THAT, I FEEL LIKE SHE’S HOLDING BACK AND I WILL *NOT* HAVE HER TAKE IT EASY AS LONG AS I’M AROUND.  
CG: AS HER KISMESIS AND MOIRAIL RESPECTIVELY, WE NEED TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN’T NEED TO HOLD BACK.  
TA: yeah good luck wiith that  
TA: you are way more vaniilla than 2he ii2  
CG: I CAN BE JUST AS RAUNCHY AS SHE IS!!!  
TA: now that2 a dii2turbiing thought  
TA: my 2ugge2tiion ii2 two co2play troll harrii2on ford from that one moviie  
TA: that wiill get her 2hriill bearded liive2tock  
CG: I AM NOT WEARING THAT DUMB FUCKING HAT!!  
TA: then 2hiit iin the hat  
TA: iit’ll 2tiill pii22 her off  
CG: I AM NOT INTO THAT KIND OF DISGUSTING DISPLAY!!!  
TA: what diid ii 2ay about you beiing vaniila a2 fuck?  
TA: no wonder you need help  
CG: NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR SORRY ASS EXCUSE FOR SASS CAPTOR!!!!  
CG: JUST SEND ME HER BROWSING HISTORY AND I’LL BE OUT OF YOUR HAIR!  
TA: plea2e dude, you thiink AA actually look2 at 2hiit liike that?  
TA: oh  
TA: holy 2hiit 2he actually doe2  
TA: on a pretty regular ba2i2 two  
CG: LET ME SEE!!!  
TA: 2hiit 2he ii2 iintwo that 2tuff?  
TA: learn 2omethiing new every day ii gue22  
TA: now ii wiill need miind bleach  
TA: lot2 of it  
CG: FOR FUCK’S SAKE CAPTOR SHOW ME THE BROWSING HISTORY!  
TA: and 2car your poor liittle vaniila 2oul?  
TA: oh and break the tru2t of my moiiraiil ii gue22  
CG: YES!!!  
CG: IT IS YOUR DUTY TO MAKE SURE SHE HAS A HEALTHY QUADRANT LIFE AND THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO UP THE ANTE IN HER PITCH QUADRANT!!  
CG: THIS IS WHAT MOIRAILLEGIANCE IS ALL ABOUT!!!  
TA: are you 2ure you follow the 2ame defiiniitiion a2 ii do?  
CG: JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BROWSING HISTORY!!!  
TA: fiine  
TA: whatever  
TA: the pa2t two week2 of iit are iin your iinbox and that2 all iim giiviing you  
CG: ……………………………….  
TA: ……………………………….  
CG: WOAH.  
TA: yup  
CG: I MEAN….. HOLY SHIT….  
TA: uh huh  
CG: I AM PRETTY SURE HALF OF THIS SHIT WAS ILLEGAL AS FUCK ON ALTERNIA!!  
TA: ii am pretty 2ure that2 what make2 iit hot  
CG: DON’T TALK ABOUT THIS LIKE IT’S NORMAL CAPTOR!  
CG: THIS IS SOME PRETTY INTENSE STUFF!!  
TA: ii’ve 2een wor2e  
CG: THIS’LL MAKE FOR GREAT TEASING IF NOTHING ELSE….  
CG: I THINK I’M OKAY WITH DOING SOME OF THE TAMER STUFF IN HERE.  
CG: THE THING WITH THE SEADWELLER AND THE RUSTBLOOD, THAT DOESN’T SEEM TOO BAD.  
CG: DO YOU THINK THAT’LL GET UNDER HER SKIN?  
TA: dude ii don’t want two thiink about my moiiraiil liike that  
TA: on an unrelated note  
TA: check her bookmark2  
CG: YEAH, I CAN SEE THIS WORK. NO IDEA WHERE I AM GOING TO GET ALL THAT STUFF THOUGH.  
TA: TZ ii2 way intwo that 2hiit  
CG: YEAH, THAT’LL WORK. IMAGINE THAT FUCKING CONVERSATION.  
CG: OH HEY TEREZI. DON’T MIND ME, I AM JUST BORROWING SOME OF YOUR CREEPY BDSM EQUIPMENT TO DOMINATE MY KISMESIS. SHALL I WASH THEM AFTER I’M DONE OR DO YOU WANT TO DO SNIFF THEM?!  
TA: wor2t ca2e 2cenariio ii2 her a2kiing for piicture2  
TA: whiich 2he wiill proceed two liIck  
CG: GROSS.  
CG: I’LL JUST SEE WHAT I CAN ALCHEMIZE FOR THAT SEADWELLER/RUSTBLOOD THING. CAN’T BE THAT HARD.  
TA: yeah have fun wiith that  
TA: ii’ll be over here tryiing not two thiink about the 2hiit the two of you wiill be gettiing iintwo   
CG: YEAH, YEAH THANKS A BUNCH CAPTOR.  
CG: NEXT TIME I’LL GIVE YOU SHIT ABOUT BEING A WORTHLESS SACK OF MAGGOTS YOU CAN HOLD THIS OVER ME.  
TA: you know ii wiill

* * *

 

Tentatively Karkat knocked on the door of Aradia’s hive. It was always a crapshoot whether or not she expected him. Time travel did not grant her omniscience but she was infuriatingly perceptive when it came to matters such as this. He suspected asking her moirail for advice did not help his case.

“oh, it’s you…” Aradia said, pretending to be uninterested. It was part of the game between black lovers and by now Karkat knew perfectly well how to play it.

“DON’T EVEN PRETEND TO BE SURPRISED.” Karkat growled.”IT’S NOT AS IF ANYONE TAKES THE TIME TO VISIT YOU ALL THE WAY OUT IN THE STICKS.”

“then don’t.” With two short words the rustblooded troll slammed the door into his face. She was a really high-maintenance kismesis, making him climb through the conspicuously open window instead. If this wasn’t the sort of romantic standard years of romantic comedies had made him set, than he would seriously complain about it. Instead he reveled in it and was already making elaborate plans to lock her out when she’d visit him.

Inside, Aradia was already waiting. She wore a red shirt and an actual undamaged skirt. It was a fairly simple outfit: not dressed for his approval but also nothing he could harp on.

Karkat pushed her up against the wall and eagerly began making out with her. Aradia pressed her knee into his crotch, putting pressure against his bulge and playfully grinding against it. He wasn’t going to let it bother him and bit her lower lip. There was fire in her eyes and he was going to tame it.

“IF YOU USE YOUR PSYCHIC SHTICK, YOU LOSE.”

“lose what?”

With a quick motion Karkat uncaptchalogued a pair of handcuffs and locked Aradia’s hands behind her back. She grimaced and smashed her heel into his foot, making him flinch. He knew she wasn’t going down without a struggle. His fingers wrapped around her horns and he smashed her head-first into the wall and without being able to make use of her hands, she lost her balance.

Using his sickle he cut Aradia’s skirt into ribbons. As if he needed further proof that she was expecting him, she didn’t wear anything underneath it. It were small gestures like that, that made him appreciate his kismesis.

She was taller than he was and heavier than expected but Karkat managed to lift the struggling Aradia up and dropped her on a table. He tried to keep her still but she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. He didn’t expect her too.

“you asshole.” she hissed. “that actually hurt.”

“GOOD.” Karkat growled, giving her ass a firm smack. “DO YOU NEED A SAFEWORD?”

“fuck you!” another smack.

“THOUGHT SO!” he uncaptchalogued a paddle and struck her ass again. Aradia yelped. He began enjoying the power he held over her and brought it down.“COUNT THEM!” he commanded with a smirk, taking cues from the videos in her bookmarks.

“one…..”

SMACK

“…two……”

SMACK, SMACK.

Aradia whimpered as her spanking continued. The skin he had struck slowly turned into her signature maroon. For Karkat it was an amazing rush to see his kismesis squirming under his command. Part of him was uneasy because a kismessisitude is supposed to be a relation founded on constantly fighting for power. This was just taking the power and not allowing her to fight back.  
Another part of him wanted to see how far he could go with this.

He carefully laid the paddle next to her, as if to signal her that this part was over. Aradia wanted to turn around but he wasn’t going to let her just yet. In frustration she tried kicking him but it really didn’t go anywhere.

“you asshole bulgetwirler…” she growled. Karkat smirked as she was slowly taking his habbit for gratuitous insults. She just wasn’t very good at it yet. Still, he couldn’t let it slide and gave her a token final smack with his hand. The contact with her sore flesh was enough to make her gasp.

“IT’S NOT ALL BAD, HAVING ME AS GLORIOUS LEADER.” He said smug enough to make her groan. His fingers danced over her red-tinted ass, down to her legs and up against her nook. It was warm and already dripping wet. “SEEMS LIKE YOU AGREE TOO.”  
Karkat walked around the table to hold his red-coated fingers in front of her mouth, expecting her to suck it.

Instead, she bit down hard. He could only barely retract his fingers in time.

“fuck you.” she said with venomous voice. He grabbed the paddle again and gave her two more well-deserved smacks. Aradia hissed in pain but her legs were trashing and twisting in a vain attempt to hide the pleasure she derived from it.

Karkat returned to his place behind her. Part of him wished he had a future self to do the same thing she had done to him earlier. He wondered if it was very narcissistic to fantasize about watching himself spitroast her. Time-powers were probably wasted on him.

There were plenty of other amusing things to do with the restrained maid however. He slid a finger inside of her nook and carefully scratched her walls. Aradia whined softly and arced into his touch., her muscles desperately constricting around his finger.  
Karkat wanted to make a denigrating comment on the lewd state of his kismesis but he was mesmerized by her whimpers and occasional spasms. The way her body seemed to melt against him, looking for more pleasure. He pressed a second finger in and watched fascinated by the way her mouth opened into a quiet moan. The way she reacted as he began fingering her deeper and rougher was enough to drive any troll wild.

But he wasn’t doing this for hér pleasure. The moment she seemed to approach the edge, his fingers left her warmth. He stopped entirely, leaving her wet and wanting.

Aradia looked over her shoulder, trying to figure out what was wrong but Karkat was just standing there his arms folded over his chest and the outline of his bulge visible through his jeans. He wasn’t doing anything.

Then he returned. One finger, two fingers like before. He moved faster inside her than before and she almost rolled off of the table as she lost herself in the sensation. Karkat pulled her head back by grabbing onto her hair while slamming his fingers deep inside of her nook, scraping against the walls. Aradia felt like she was going to lose her mind.

And then he stopped.

“come ooon…” she whined. Her nook was dripping wet now. A small red puddle was forming underneath the table. Karkat just smirked at the results of his handiwork.

“WE ARE ONLY BEGINNING, SWEETHEART!”

When he brought her on the edge of her orgasm for a third time she whimpered.

The fourth, fifth and sixth time she insulted him for what few names she had the strength to think off.

The seventh time however, she broke.

“just fuck me already!!” she squirmed on the table. she tried desperately to break her cuffs on physical strength alone but failed miserably. The only thing she could do was pray he was feeling merciful enough to finally give it to her or break it through her psychic abilities and admit defeat.

She was not admitting defeat.

“SAY PLEASE, PET!” He finally ordered.

“please pet….”

“CUTE.” Karkat growled. He pulled her hair back and whispered threatingly in her ear. “EITHER YOU BEG ME FOR MY BULGE LIKE A PROPER WHORE OR WE’RE GOING TO SEE HOW LONG I’LL HAVE TO TEASE YOU UNTIL YOU WILL!!!

She remained quiet for a good while. He wasn’t going to say it but for a moment he was afraid he went too far calling her whore like that. However, she looked back with a lewd expression.

“please fuck me…. master.”

Karkat unceremoniously took his pants of, grabbed Aradia by the horns and slammed himself into her nook. It felt amazing to exert so much control over his kismesis. He wanted to humiliate her further and to make her his personal fucktoy. The thought of having her at his beck and call like the obedient slut he had made her now was certainly enticing.  
Then again, if she would allow him to do so, she wouldn’t be a very good kismesis.

Aradia cried out feeling him penetrate her and tried to move back against him. She was trembling with every thrust and wet enough to take it, no matter how hard he went at her. There was no way for her to remain quiet. Her tongue rolled out of her mouth as she moaned out, when he began trusting his full length inside of her.

It became incredibly difficult for Karkat to keep a clear mind as he was blinded with pleasure but he didn’t just come to her hive for his enjoyment. He had come to dominate her.

To the frustration of both Aradia and himself he slid his now red-coated bulge out. The rustblooded troll whined and trashed and cursed the name he had chosen for himself. But Karkat had a plan.

He spread Aradia’s ass and pressed his bulge against her tight hole.

“wait!” she plead. “no, no not that—“

Karkat pressed the tip of his bulge in. Aradia’s breathing hitched and she gritted her teeth in pain. If it was just the tip, she could have withstood the pain but what kind of kismesis would he have been if he stopped there?  
He grabbed her long hair, gave it a pull and rammed his full length inside her. Aradia cried out in pain but was undeniably aroused by the act of dominance. She wasn’t the only one gritting her teeth.

Karkat desperately fought to stave off his own orgasm. Aradia’s ass was so incredibly tight around his bulge that he could have climaxed the moment his full length was in. Instead, he wanted to drag it out as long as he could muster, all the while pounding away and making his kismesis sore.

In an attempt to outlast Aradia he began fingering her nook in tandem with the anal sex and to his surprise it worked. Aradia let out an overwhelming cry as she finally came, deep red juices cascading down from her nook and making a mess of her floor.

The twitching and trashing of the rustblooded troll was all that was needed to send him over the edge as well. Karkat slammed his bulge in as deep as he could and filled her gut with his own mutant genetic material.  
It pleased him to no end to see her stomach bulge from the bucketload he was filling her up with.

Karkat remained panting on top of Aradia while coming down from the orgasm. His bulge slowly became flaccid again and plopped anti-climactically out of her ass, after which his genetic material began leaking out. He considered coating his fingers in it and forcing it into her mouth but didn’t feel like risking her biting again.  
Besides, getting up and walking around the table required energy he did not yet have.

Aradia was completely sore. Her nook was teased to hell and back and her ass received a firm pounding. The only thing missing was having her mouth filled properly. She wouldn’t admit it out loud but Karkat’s performance today had been her favorite thus far, even if he should start anal a little less enthusiastically. Just another reason to hate the short troll. She felt like taking a shower to clean her legs and to let the genetic material pour out but her hands remained uncomfortably cuffed behind her back.

Finally, the dominating troll got off of his victim. He quietly uncuffed her and looked very satisfied at the scene he left behind. He didn’t expect her to sit down the coming days and definitely didn’t expect her to talk smack after being treated this way. Aradia however, shot him a look brimming with hate.

“Next time…” she panted, holding onto the table for support. Much to Karkat’s satisfaction her legs were wobbly and his red juices were still seeping down her leg. “Next time it’ll be your ass.”

“YEAH RIGHT.” Karkat panted as he collected his clothes.”YOU START ON GROWING A BULGE AND WE’LL GET RIGHT TO THAT.” he pointed to the puddle of mixed genetic material under the table.”ARE YOU GOING TO LAP THAT UP OR WILL YOU LET IT SOAK INTO THE FLOOR AS A PERMANENT REMINDER THAT I FUCKING OWN YOUR ASS?”

Aradia growled loudly, infuriated by the smaller troll. It was one thing to be dommed by such a little piece of shit but to have him talk shit afterwards was just too much.

With a wave of her hand and her psychic ability, a barely dressed Karkat got tossed out of the window.

Yes, this had become a healthy kismessisitude.

* * *

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinsArmageddon [TA]\---

CG: SOLLUX HELP!!!  
TA: what  
CG: MEGIDO JUST SEND ME THIS PICTURE. HOLD ON.  
TA: ………  
CG: ……..  
TA: .. that2 a biig 2trap on  
CG: NO SHIT!!!  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?!?!  
TA: ii am 2o done wiith thii2  
TA: peace

\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--

CG: CAPTOR!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> In which I completely forgot how to write smut.
> 
> Also, realized halfway through this should have been an 'Shouting Weaboo' story, where Damara convinces them to become black for each other. Then I realized I would prefer to have that story remain SFW.


End file.
